January. Month 1. A new start. A fresh start. A time to be resolute with resolutions. But really, it seems to be nothing more than a farce. Perhaps simply an intricately-laid out ruse allowing gyms around the country a surge of profit at the beginning of each year.
Normally I'm a sucker for holidays and often get carried away - I love dressing in green, painting eggs, watching fireworks, carving pumpkins, cooking a turkey feast, and leaving cookies and milk out for Santa. But this year.... the new year was different. There was no renewed vigor, no energy boost. My new years started off a bit rocky and it just became so evident there is no reset button.... all we're left with is one continuous stream of time, making Jan 1 no different than any other day; it simply represents an accumulation of all the same residual problems and triumphs that existed on Dec 31.
Normally I'm a sucker for holidays and often get carried away - I love dressing in green, painting eggs, watching fireworks, carving pumpkins, cooking a turkey feast, and leaving cookies and milk out for Santa. But this year.... the new year was different. There was no renewed vigor, no energy boost. My new years started off a bit rocky and it just became so evident there is no reset button.... all we're left with is one continuous stream of time, making Jan 1 no different than any other day; it simply represents an accumulation of all the same residual problems and triumphs that existed on Dec 31.
I admit I've fostered in myself a fully-grown cynic over this last stretch of time. And feeding that poor fool, among other things, is a developing frustration: I feel as though I've put forth quite the effort toward making healthier choices for my mind, body, and spirit, without seeing any permanent, positive effects. I am still a firm believer in changing for the better, and will continue to do so, but its difficult waiting for results.... waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for something... anything.... to happen. On the other hand, I do truly recognize the need to learn to appreciate the here and now, because, really, all we have is now.
Pertinent to the above recognition is this lovely passage Shilpa shared with me a while ago. Upon first sight, I decided I would start implementing it into my daily mantra, but, to my own detriment, have not. Perhaps reading this passage every day will instill in me some much, much-needed perspective and patience. I hope it speaks to you with a similar impact:
For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time to still be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.
This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time...and remember that time waits for no one.
- Alfred D'Souza
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